“God could not be present everywhere, that’s why he created mothers”- Chinese saying
The mother-child bond has been revered as the most beautiful and the strongest natural bond between two humans. Motherly love is the purest of all – always giving, forgiving and accommodating. Folk literature is full of stories which prove that mothers are possibly the most sacrificing humans one ever meets in life. Psychologically too, mothers leave a lasting print on their children through their mothering, the social, emotional and moral lessons they impart and the quality of their relationship with children. Numerous studies point to the deep impact of early mothering on a child’s successful transition to adulthood. However, mothering is a tough job, especially in today’s challenging milieu with newly emerging pressures and stresses. Very often, first-time mothers’ parenting styles are closely modelled on their own mother’ styles but it may not work sometimes, as each child responds best to a unique mothering style.
The mother-child affectional tie becomes the basis of all future relationships in life. Research shows that children who are unable to develop such a bond in early life may NEVER develop trust in others and have fulfilling emotional lives. Clearly, a mother’s work in the first few years of a child’s life has immense importance. Mothering involves a certain amount of discretion. There is no standard rule for all children as different children may need different levels of attention, expression of love, and toughness.You need to observe carefully the unique set of demands your child makes on you and behave accordingly.
Top 10 Mothering Tips
Tip 1: Recognize the Privilege
Appreciate that the child, your little bundle of joy, has come through you. But children are NOT your property or extensions; they do not belong to you. You have brought them into this world and your utmost parental duty is to raise them to make them sensitive, productive and responsible human beings. Just see how to enjoy, nurture, and support them. DON’T see them as an investment for your future.
Tip 3: Give Them ‘True’ Love
Loving children DOES NOT equal catering to their whims. When you love, you do just whatever is needed. When you truly love someone, you are willing to be UNPOPULAR and still do what is best for them.
Tip 2: Let Them Be
Let them become what they have to. DON’T try to mould them according to your understanding of life. Your child need not do what you did in your life as she/he could do something that you did not even dare to think of. Only then will the world progress.
Tip #4: Patience Pays
A child should remain a child; there is no hurry to make him into an adult. Let it pace itself naturally. Do not deprive him of his childhood innocence.
Tip #5: Time to Learn
When a child comes, it’s time to learn, NOT teach. When a child comes, unknowingly, you laugh, play, sing and do all those things you had forgotten. So it is time to learn about life.
Tip #6: Nurture Natural Spirituality
Generally, the parents, teachers – somebody or the other meddles with them too much. Create an atmosphere where this is minimized and the child is encouraged to grow up his intelligence rather than into your religious identity. The child will become naturally spiritual without even knowing the word.
Tip #7: Supportive, Loving Atmosphere
Setting an example of fear will not make your children live joyously. They will also learn fear only. The best thing you can do is to create a joyous and loving atmosphere.
Tip #8: Friendly Relationship
Stop imposing yourself on the child and create a strong friendship rather than a boss-subordinate relationship. Don’t sit on a high pedestal to dictate the child what to do. Place yourself below the child so that it’s easy for them to talk to you.
Tip #9: Avoid Seeking Respect
Love is what you seek with your children. But many parents demand, “You must respect me.” Except that you had come earlier, have a bigger body, in what way are you a better life than him?
Tip #10: Make Yourself Truly Attractive
For your child’s upbringing, you should first transform yourself into a peaceful and loving human being. A child is influenced by TV, neighbours, teachers, school, and a million other things. He will go the way of whatever he finds most attractive. As a parent, you have to make yourself the most attractive thing. If you are a joyous, intelligent, and wonderful person, he won’t seek company anywhere else. For anything, he will come and ask you.